So it’s an odd Tuesday for me. No dice are rolling, no beer is being consumed, and no hill giants are being turned into squirrels. No Tuesday D&D ( Dungeons and Dragons). Its odd how this event has become a staple of my week and how I rather miss it. However since I spent the day feeling like 18 kinds of garbage it’s probably a good thing.
Work was another day of slinging coffee and dealing with the craziness of working at a small business. Nothing terribly exciting save the fact that my back hurt so bad that I had to sit for a bit. And tomorrow will be more of the same. I should go put the aspirin in bag now.
Okay aspirin is in the bag. I guess I need to find a topic for this entry lest it become an exercise in rambling. Topic, topic, topic…. Topppppppic……. Topic.. To-pic……… I guess I’ll write about gaming. It works well enough.
So I’ve been a RPGer for ages, since I was 14 actually. Now I don’t do computer games or larp-ing and I don’t play to many board games either. I just really enjoy getting together with a group of friends and rolling dice while becoming someone else. I just enjoy getting to deal with parts of my psyche that otherwise get repressed and tend to cause trouble. Yes I am a nerd, a total geek, seriously go take a wander through my movie collection, the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, the first two X-Men ( the third was awful), all of the official Sean Connery, James Bond movies ( I totally blame my high school boyfriend for this), season 2 of Battle star Galactica ( the new series not that campy 70s crap), Highlander ( there can be only one), Labyrinth, season one of the Muppet Show, ( I freaking adore Jim Henson), Serenity, Young Frankenstein, Space balls ( I love you Mel Brooks) and of course the original 3 Star Wars movies (before George Lucas decided he needed to basically shit all over the Sistine Chapel of Sci-Fi). Yup nerd, plus I have comic books, too.
I’m actually pretty excited about a new character I’m going to start playing in a new game. It’s my first time playing an RPG outside of D&D in ages and my group is playing Rokugan which is a setting in feudal Japan. I’m really exciting because for the first time in forever, literally since I started playing, I am not playing a thief, or a bard ( which I view as a thief that can use magic, hey in 2nd edition I still had backstab). No I am playing a straight up shit wrecking fighter, or in this case samurai, and in this system there is one family in one clan that has female samurai and I’m part of it. My character’s external motto is, “If I can’t kill it, I’m probably not going to be much use.” No negating or using tactics for this one. But what has me really interested is the fact that I’m using her as a way to explore non-traditional women and how they cope with there femininity. I want her to try and establish an alternate to traditional femininity without completely aping traditional masculine behaviors. It’s going to be a constant struggle for her since she is treated essentially like any other samurai by the society but I feel that there should be this conflict within her. Oh yeah and she’s going to be very attractive which is very odd for women in this family so that is something she’ll constantly have to be dealing with.
So is this escapism on my part? Hell yes it is. But in escaping Chris and all the preconceived notions people have of me and that I have of myself, I get to learn a lot about who I am. Especially when I know what I would do in a certain situation is totally at odds with my character. Since I’ve been playing for awhile I know how to fight the urge to make the character do what I would. But it’s still hard, very hard, almost disturbing sometimes, but then again it’s a great way to learn about who you are and what you honestly believe in. Plus it’s a good excuse to sit around and bullshit with friends afterward.
Still it’s nice to have a week off from it. So to help with the slight nerd withdrawal I’m off to go watch some Doctor Who and drink a metric ton of OJ in hopes of feeling better tomorrow.
Till Tomorrow-C
PS The Cricket in my wall appears to like early Radiohead and Iron and Wine. While it’s an annoying little bastard at least it has good music taste.
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